“Hey Bud, whatcha doin”?
Dale – “I’m late… Wicked late actually” (Dale is going camping with his family, his best gal, and from what I hear around 14 or 15 dogs, it should make for an exciting weekend. Charlie freaks out sometimes when he is in the house and feels constrained, I’m sure he will take to sleeping in a tent like a fish to water)
Me – “Yeah??? You are late huh?? That’s too bad…. Can I help??? (Mind you all the while I am hanging off him like a drunk trying to pick up a chick at about 1:45)
Dale – “No I’m all set”
Me – “You sure… come on, what can I do”
Dale finally takes time to look up from his Julie Child act and see’s this staring back at him.
Then right back to chopping… “Just gotta finish this up, thanks though…”
MY GOD……
I continue to try to get his attention like a child showing off for a parent that is too busy to look up from their morning paper or tumbler of scotch…. Dale… look at me… look what I can do….
He looked back a few times, never once saying anything about why I was acting like I wanted to get a quick bang in before he took off, or that I had this on my face.
Finally I couldn’t take it
Me -“Seriously??”
Dale – “What”
Me – Questioning cocked head look suggesting “do you really not know what we are talking about ?”
Dale - ….. nothing
Me – “Do you like my new moustache?
Dale – “Oh Jesus!”
Me… “Wow…”
Kali seemed to like it, but I think that it was just because it assists with the fantasy that I am someone else, which goes a long way to keeping her happy. Jerm also noticed immediately, but that may have been because he was wearing this…
You see, the plant had a fully sanctioned beard gowning contest during the outage. You had to be clean shaven on day one, everyone put in $5, and the winner I think gets to give his money to charity. I don’t know what kind of charity would accept money that was raised in this way, especially because I think the flyer for the contest had a picture of not only “the most interesting man in the world” but also Osama Bin Laden on it. I was not officially in this contest, as I was worried that it may affect my eligibility to grow a beard in the NCAA. So I waited in the wings, and let others have their fun, all the while, growing a fantastic bushy masterpiece that put all others to shame.
Then one day last week, we all got the news that Macho Man had past, which lead to watching videos of him, which lead to everyone talking in the Macho Man voice the majority of the time… in meetings, on the phone, paging people over the PA system
“Dan Murphy, call 5433… OOOOHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!”
And one thing turned into another until out of this popped the idea… Moustache Friday.
A lot of people talked about it, and talked about what kind of stache they would grow, with the same looks on their faces that people our age got when we were kids and looked at toy catalogs at Christmas time. Like anything was a possibility. Like there was no one there to tell you that your moustache was too bushy, or your handlebars too long.
Yet when it came down to it, only Ginger, Myself, and one other fellow actually had the nerve to actually come to work with a stache’.
 |
| Jon... dont let him baby sit your kids |
A stache is an odd thing. I was remarking to Jerm before I left today, how odd it was that there was an outside chance that I would get reprimanded for my fantastic fantastic fu-man-chu. “How” he asked. I questioned whether it could be considered a distraction to others. Granted it is hard to distract a group of people talking in wrestler voices and publicly fouling the air to the point that entire cubical banks need to be evacuated, but the thought was still in my head.
How odd it is that two people could have the same attribute, yet on one person it seems perfectly normal, and on another it could be seen as a joke, or as mocking of the mustached community and get them dragged behind the stache comb shop and beaten mercilessly by a pack of Tom Selleck looking fellows. I have been pondering this all afternoon the way religious folk ponder the afterlife, and how twickers ponder how the DVD player works before they take it apart.
I have gotten several strange looks since I got to work. Jon (“other fellow” pictures above) said that he stopped to get a sub, and the dudes seemed to respect him more, and the chicks seemed to think that he was dangerous, but not in a “sexy bad boy” way, but in a “Silence of the Lambs “Buffalo Bill” kinda way. A moustache brings out a lot of different emotions, to say the least. But oddly enough, the people that seem to actually take offense to this;
are the guys who have not only a stache themselves, but have the SAME Hulk Hogan-ish foo that I do. Maybe they think that I am mocking them. Maybe I didn’t pay in my membership dues before joining the BMF club…
Not that I really care. Their tired old foo’s haven’t helped anyone in a long time. Mine on the other hand is a shining beacon of peace.
Just a few short hours ago, two gentlemen got into a rather heated discussion during a meeting. After 30 days of working 12+ hours on night shift with the same guys night after night, a simple disagreement has the possibility of escalating into a full blown thunder dome type event if not properly diffused. The difference of opinion turned into some loud voices, which turned into a couple of very angry and frustrated faces. At which point someone broke with awkward tense silence with “Will everyone please just calm down and look at Dan’s face…”
And disaster was averted, if but for one more night.
No comments:
Post a Comment