Once when I
was a young child (you will notice that I did not say small), I dressed up as
an Ewok for Halloween. The old lady that lived up the road thought that I was a
walnut… I cried.
That was
the first Halloween that I remember. And every year since then I have dressed
up as something (never a walnut).
Typically
my costume is impractical for parties and things of that nature. I am a large
fellow, who runs a little hot. When I dress in 40 to 50 pounds of fake fur (fur
is murder) it isn’t long before I look like Patrick Ewing shooting a foul shot.
Its torturous, but I love it.
The last
few years the wifey and I have done couples costumes. Pimp and Ho, Frankenstein
and Mrs. Frank, King Kong and Betty White (or whoever that chick was). This
year, not only did we not get to dress up, we did not even get to see each
other. I am stuck in the Flower City, helping to contribute to the irrational
fears of the freaks on “Doomsday Preppers), so no Halloween for me. And because
she loves me so much, the wife bowed out as well.
There were
so many good couple costumes this year. Opie and a Lead Pipe… Trevon Martin and Zimmerman.. Sandusky’s ass
before and after prison… the ideas were endless.
And we get
to do nothing… I might cry again this year
I guess I will
just sit at home and wait for the Prepps candy bar kid to come by and get a snickers
from me, and see if he relishes the irony. I bet it will not be lost on the little scamp.
