I went to a diner next to the plant last week by myself. There weren't too many people in the place, and yet the waitress sat me directly next to one of the only occupied booths. It was occupied by a mother, her two little dick sons, and her father (the dick son’s grandfather). Obviously I didn’t know the family dynamic before I sat down, but I did have a pretty good idea that the kids were little bastards, as I assume this of all children of that age until they prove themselves otherwise. My mediocre taco salad was ruined by having to listen to these kids talk back to both the mother and the grandfather, talk with there month full, put way to much ketchup on their fries, and other stomach turning nonsense.
I went back to this diner today, and there were even less people in it.
The waitress sat me off in my own little corner so I didn’t have to be a part of society, just the way that I like it. As I studied the menu, I glanced over to the salad bar area (not that I was thinking of getting a salad), and noticed a rather nauseating family sitting in the booth adjacent to it. To my horror, the child sitting threre reached behind herself, and grabbed a handful of croutons directly from the bowl thing on the bar. (All I could think of was when the puddin head at Clarkson licked the knife and stuck it back in the egg salad and Jason Babcock stood up, pointed, and screamed). The mother scolded the kid "Stop doing that, its gross". Do you think so??? WTF... You think it’s gross and that accident belongs to you, how do you think the other salad bar patrons feel about it. "Yes i would like a salad with grilled chicken, tomatos, and croutons covered in small cheeto's fingerprints.
As I sat, mouth agape, the waitress invaded my little corner haven and sat a family with a 2 year old (I’m guessing at the age, I didn’t ask for ID) right next to me. The baby sat for my entire stay and shook a rattle for a minute or so and then threw it on the ground. The mother would pick it up, give it back, make some cutesy comment, and it would start again. Except one time the mother actually said "good thing that he doesn’t have that good of an arm, I don’t have to go that far" Well that’s nice, way to encourage your child. If he doesn’t throw that well it is because you are a horrible mother, and you have doomed him to a life of being picked last at everything.
Now I know some of you are reading this and thinking, oh poor Dan, you had to sit looking all fantastic and sexy and listen to a baby play with a rattle. That’s what babies do. You know what, I know that’s what babies do, i just don’t want to have to be around it while I am eating (or doing anything else).
I think that there should be a separate room for families with couch pissers under the age of 10. I know this isn’t a new idea. My twist on it is this, and I think I would make it fairer for families who want to sit with the happy people with no children. If you want to sit with everyone else, that is fine, but if three people complain, you have to squirt your baby in the face with your table’s ketchup bottle.
They didn’t give me that option, plus my tomato, mac, and beef soup was some sort of canned job with the big fat macaroni’s that have been in fluid too long, and the little round meatballs that are in Spaghetti-O’s (it was actually pretty good, but it’s the idea of it), therefore I am resurrecting the boycott restaurant list, and until I get to see a bad mother Heinz up junior’s face, this place is on it.
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