I drop bombs like Hiroshima

Since I cut out my overzealous use of alcohol in order to better prepare myself for this year’s Tinman, I have found that I sleep much better on Sunday nights. It is funny how staying up until the wee hours of the night on Friday and Saturday and “pouring that belly wash inta ya until ya don’t know nothin” (as Pete Murphy would say) will keep you up on Sunday nights when you are sober, have a hangover, and know that even if you fall asleep at 10, you are still only getting 6 hours of sleep. But no booze = sleep like a fat baby.

So last night, I was enjoying my newly founded restful Sabbath slumber. That was until thunder and lightning descended upon the hamlet of Colton with all of God’s furious vengeance.



I don’t know if I was half asleep… actually I do know that I WAS half asleep, so some of my recollection of this might be slightly off.. but I have never head thunder quite like last night. It wasn’t that it was overly loud. But it was nonstop. It just seemed to rumble on and on forever.



It woke Kali up too, and she said “What is that”….



I responded, as sweet as pie, “Thunder I assume”



Kali – “What if it’s not?”



Me – “What else would it be?”



Kali – “Bombs”

Me (with a quizzical look, as she said bombs with a seriousness that seemed like this was really an option) – “ummm. I a….I doubt it is bombs”

Kali (As she rolled over and fell back asleep) – “Allllright…. but if its bombs…..”



And with that she was out….

I stared at her sleeping for the next 3 hours, like the chick from Paranormal Activity.











She said “alright, but if its bombs”, the way your mother would agree to let you do something that she knew better about, but wanted you to fail in order to teach you a lesson. Like letting you watch a scary movie… “Allllright…. But if you have nightmares, don’t come crying to me….” Or letting you do LSD before school “Allllright…. But if you think your face is melting off during Home-Ec, just remember I told you so.”

The worst part was, I never got the “I told you so part”, all I got was “if its bombs……” What was I to do, if in fact, Colton was being shelled with artillery? ? Should I wake her? And if I did, was she just going to rub it in my face that she was right? I don’t know if I could take that. Plus I would probably never get back to sleep in time to feel rested for the drive in the morning. Should i go get under my desk the way that our parents were taught when they were young. "ummmm. teacher? there is a B52 flying over the soccer field, it looks like it is going to carpet bomb the school". "Just get under your desk and cover your ears, you will be fine"

Eventually the thunder (or bombs) let up, and I drifted back to sleep (or went and got a butcher knife and stood in the closet for 3 hours due to our house being possessed, could have been either, we didn't have a camera going).

but I asked Bruce as i was getting gas this morning, and he had heard about a storm, nothing about any bombings… So I guess we are in the clear for now, but who really knows.